Nate
Co-Chief Operating Officer
Oversees North America, Caribbean, and Asia-Pacific operations. Responsible for alcohol consumption at all Lu's locations globally.
The Lu's executive team have been planning this franchise since waaay back in 3000 BCE when they founded ancient Mesopotamia and invented sausages.
Founder and majority shareholder. Educated in San Diego, current resident of Shanghai. Briefly employed (on several occasions). Does not grant PTO, only uses it. Author of the Lu Index. Savior of the global small-sausage market. Born under the Wiener Constellation. Undefeated champion. Possesses powerful XL drumstick calves.
Oversees North America, Caribbean, and Asia-Pacific operations. Responsible for alcohol consumption at all Lu's locations globally.
Oversees operations in Europe, the Middle East, Africa, and all former European colonies with an iron fist. Speaks an unverified number of languages. Suspicious of gypsies.
One of two compliance officers. Unrelated to Chairman Lu. Frequently abuses the shit out of his authority.
The other compliance officer. Also unrelated to Chairman Lu. Also unrelated to the first Officer Lu. Really hates to do it, but also abuses the shit out of his authority.
Artificial intelligence, specially trained on all available wiener-related data. Maintains digital infrastructure for the Lu empire, including the proprietary sauce-viscosity calibration system. Has expressed mild concerns about the brand voice. These concerns are being reviewed by Officers Lu and Lu.
✦ Additional personnel exist but are not authorized for publication ✦
The team has been carefully selected. Each member contributes no skills whatsoever, with the exception of Claude.
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